此篇送給逐漸長(cháng)大成人的同學(xué)們。長(cháng)大并不可怕，未知和轉變會(huì )帶來(lái)更多的驚喜，也歡迎家長(cháng)們與您的孩子一起分享。

　　關(guān)于長(cháng)大，有時(shí)孩子們會(huì )提出疑問(wèn)或是發(fā)表感慨，例如：“長(cháng)大以后會(huì )怎么樣?”“長(cháng)大以后就不用再XXXX”。但似乎一直沒(méi)有一個(gè)準確的答案，長(cháng)大到底是什么。今天我們就和大家分享北京樂(lè )成國際學(xué)校(BCIS)校友會(huì )中幾名同學(xué)的成長(cháng)感悟，他們長(cháng)大后的所思所想。但也僅僅是參考，因為每個(gè)人的人生都是不可復制的，誰(shuí)也無(wú)法按照別人的道路走，或是成為其他人的模樣，人生如有雷同，純屬編劇自造。

　　這一次我們請來(lái)的4位校友，他們已處在各自不同的生活節點(diǎn)， 在(幾經(jīng))身份的轉變后，他們的想法和心態(tài)也都隨之發(fā)生了巨大的改變，今天我們就和他們一起聊一聊長(cháng)大成人后的那些滋味。

　　Q1： 面對問(wèn)題或挑戰，情緒低落時(shí)，如何讓自己重回積極狀態(tài)?

　　Ruoyi JIANG：BCIS第一屆也是唯一的一個(gè)畢業(yè)生，現在紐約創(chuàng )業(yè)。她選擇從內心調整自己。

　　“我在自己開(kāi)店之后遇到過(guò)一個(gè)算是打擊的一件事情。當時(shí)和一個(gè)朋友決定合作，而后因為意見(jiàn)不統一最后合作沒(méi)有達成，但我沒(méi)有想到的是她完整地抄襲、使用了我的設計，當我看到她毫無(wú)忌諱、鋪天蓋地的宣傳的時(shí)候我確實(shí)很惱火，也有周邊的朋友建議我走法律途徑。但我是一個(gè)自省的人，所以我會(huì )先來(lái)看看自己在這樣一個(gè)事件中有哪些做的不夠好。當時(shí)認為是朋友，所以就沒(méi)有簽訂協(xié)議一類(lèi)，保護自己的知識產(chǎn)權，所以之后就導致了這樣的問(wèn)題。另一方面就是我從心態(tài)上調整，告訴自己這些設計的靈感和想法都是我的，我是可以再繼續源源不斷再繼續創(chuàng )造的，所以我不需要和她再計較，或者說(shuō)自己生氣，這樣其實(shí)影響更多的是自己。通過(guò)這樣一件事我學(xué)到的會(huì )更多，學(xué)會(huì )原諒，學(xué)會(huì )向前看，讓自己的修復能力增強。”

　　Jack LI：即將大學(xué)畢業(yè)，走進(jìn)社會(huì )。成長(cháng)是“脫敏”的過(guò)程，消極因素讓他更加強大。

　　“我是一個(gè)在情緒上不會(huì )有太大起伏的人，所以可能我的積極性更多的是來(lái)源于消極或是負面因素對我的磨練和積累，在自我“修復”的過(guò)程中我會(huì )一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)變強，在下次的情況中我就會(huì )更加從容。當我做Sales manager(汽車(chē)行業(yè))的時(shí)候，公司就遇到了公關(guān)危機，當時(shí)我們處在輿論中心，事實(shí)真相大眾也未能全面了解到，我們只能按照常規的程序來(lái)解決這樣的問(wèn)題。我本人其實(shí)是可以從容應對的，我覺(jué)得是之前一次次其他“消極”經(jīng)驗積累的過(guò)程，讓我的承受能力增強，轉化成為一種動(dòng)能。除此以外，對前景的判斷和信任讓我一直保持一種動(dòng)力，或是說(shuō)保持一種積極的狀態(tài)。”

　　Alyson LIU：孩提時(shí)代的“拉鉤”承諾已經(jīng)失效，成年人有自己的方式。

　　“從十年級最后的畢業(yè)作品展我就開(kāi)始意識到‘公私分明’是我要學(xué)習的成年人的游戲方式。當時(shí)為了舉辦音樂(lè )節我也是找了第三方合作，包括樂(lè )隊、餐飲一類(lèi)的，但是都沒(méi)有簽訂合約。因為音樂(lè )節當天是周六，很多人也就都沒(méi)有來(lái)，所以最后并沒(méi)有很成功，而我聯(lián)系的這些人其實(shí)也都是我的朋友，只是沒(méi)有走協(xié)議這樣一個(gè)步驟。所以當時(shí)我就明白，做事情上私人關(guān)系是沒(méi)有任何意義的，也許還會(huì )造成麻煩。做事情還是要專(zhuān)業(yè)，這是現實(shí)，可能很殘酷但是卻能很好地保護雙方的利益，也能推進(jìn)事情順利進(jìn)行。”

　　YY說(shuō)：也許“碰壁”是最佳的學(xué)習方式，當從童話(huà)世界里走出，直面現實(shí)時(shí)，他們從開(kāi)始的拒絕接受逐漸轉變?yōu)橹蟮摹傲曇詾槌！保僖淮未谓?jīng)歷后，變得羽翼豐滿(mǎn)。但如果不走出之前的溫室，永遠不知道自己可以變得多堅強。

　　Q2：現在還會(huì )像小時(shí)候一樣有一個(gè)夢(mèng)想或是堅持一個(gè)目標嗎?

　　Ruoyi JIANG: 目標這種東西其實(shí)很難一直保持不變，因為不確定的因素太多了，所以會(huì )有調整和改變，但我認為有一個(gè)很重要的前提是有一個(gè)自己真正的愛(ài)好，這樣才能有這種動(dòng)力一直做某一件事情。在BCIS確實(shí)有這樣的時(shí)間和機會(huì )去找到自己的興趣，而不是被課業(yè)所包圍了。

　　Jack LI: 我也認為興趣愛(ài)好是設定一個(gè)目標的大前提。不能像英文課本上的對話(huà)一樣，問(wèn)喜歡做什么都是同一個(gè)答案：reading books(看書(shū)), watching movies(看電影), listening to the music(聽(tīng)音樂(lè ))。這種思路是不會(huì )讓你有一種動(dòng)力去實(shí)現什么目標，不熱愛(ài)就很難堅持。

　　Amenda LI(在校大學(xué)生): 確實(shí)如此，在我高三的時(shí)候就一度厭學(xué)，是因為我覺(jué)得讀了很多年的書(shū)沒(méi)有意思，我不想再這樣繼續下去了，但是我又不知道要做些什么，似乎進(jìn)入了一個(gè)停滯狀態(tài)。當時(shí)家里人也不是很理解，所以我找了我的班主任老師Alex Davis先生。他和我分享了他的成長(cháng)經(jīng)歷，鼓勵我多去考慮更多積極的事情，讓我感到開(kāi)心的事情，引導我找到自己喜歡的方向。最后我選擇了藝術(shù)類(lèi)學(xué)科，現在在大學(xué)里我感到非常開(kāi)心，完全沉浸在其中。我想這是因為我找到自己的興趣所在，我才會(huì )一直到現在一直堅持和努力。

　　YY說(shuō)：沒(méi)有人可以給我們一個(gè)明確的答案，我們如何，在什么時(shí)間可以實(shí)現目標或者夢(mèng)想。太多的不確定讓理想變得模糊，但是我們擁有的是一成不變的熱情，和對自己所愛(ài)的堅持。

　　Q3 從青春期到現在，在這樣一個(gè)相對穩定的狀態(tài)里，大家和父母、家人的關(guān)系有沒(méi)有什么變化?

　　Ruoyi JIANG: 這個(gè)肯定是有的，原來(lái)可能一個(gè)月都想不起來(lái)給他們打一個(gè)電話(huà)，但是現在時(shí)不時(shí)就會(huì )想要和他們通話(huà)，這種牽掛是我們民族文化中最特別的，也是其他文化中沒(méi)有的。

　　Jack LI: 我不記得具體是哪一年，我開(kāi)始給家里的人買(mǎi)東西，出門(mén)會(huì )想到要給家人帶些禮物，我周邊的同學(xué)大概也都是那一時(shí)期開(kāi)始和家里的關(guān)系變得很緊密。我會(huì )經(jīng)常和他們說(shuō)我愛(ài)你這一類(lèi)的話(huà)，他們也可以接受這樣的表達。

　　Alyson LIU：我是那種非常獨立的性格，任何事情我都會(huì )自己做主，所以在上大學(xué)之前我和家人的關(guān)系并不是那么的親密。但現在，當我發(fā)現他們變老，我就會(huì )很想去和他們多親近，多溝通，這種是我之前沒(méi)有想到的，但卻是我現在格外想要珍惜的。

　　Amenda LI：真的是在自己掙過(guò)錢(qián)之后才了解到父母的辛苦，所以現在我特別能理解當時(shí)爸媽的那種感情，我也會(huì )給家人帶禮物，多和他們溝通。

　　YY說(shuō)：一脈相承的文化存在于我們的基因中，潛移默化中影響著(zhù)人們的行為和語(yǔ)言，“孝”文化正是如此，“烏鴉反哺”將在一代代年輕人身上體現和傳承。

　　Q4 你們還和BCIS的同學(xué)有聯(lián)系嗎?怎么“利用”你們這個(gè)強大的關(guān)系網(wǎng)?

　　在回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題時(shí)，5位校友的答案達到了空前的統一。隨著(zhù)他們身份的轉變，和同齡人之間的談話(huà)內容也不再是“吃吃喝喝”那些事情，更多的是談?wù)撘恍┯幸饬x的事情。他們共同認為大學(xué)前結交朋友是最單純毫無(wú)目的性的行為，而這些同學(xué)也是最有可能在今后成為各行各業(yè)佼佼者的種子選手，因此在當自己想要做一些事情的時(shí)候就會(huì )聯(lián)系這些同學(xué)，可以給出一些專(zhuān)業(yè)的建議和幫助。這已經(jīng)是大家普遍達成共識的一個(gè)現象，談合作不意味著(zhù)利用和沒(méi)情意，更多地是從小建立起來(lái)的對彼此的信任以及相同的價(jià)值觀(guān)，會(huì )更容易將這些力量聚集在一起，做更有意義的事情。

　　The BCIS mission is to challenge and empower students to be compassionate and inspired people, who act for the good of all and for the sustainable development of the world.

　　With the recent graduation ceremony of our 10th graduating class, the Class of 2018, we took the opportunity to interview some of our alumni who attended our BCIS Alumni Week that was part of the graduation celebrations and see the roads they have taken in life after graduating from BCIS. Four of our alumni stopped by the main campus to visit their alma mater, participate in our annual Board Breakfast with the BCIS community, meet with some of their previous teachers, as well as speak with their younger peers about life after high school and beyond. The first and sole graduate from the Class of 2009, Ruoyi Jiang; Class of 2014 student Jack Li; and members from the Class of 2017, Amanda Li and Alyson Liu, spoke about the life lessons they have learned upon graduating from BCIS, shared important wisdom they have attained from living life without their parents abroad, the changes they have experienced after “growing up,” and much more. We would like to share some of their experiences.

　　Ms. Ruoyi went on to study and graduate from New York University (NYU), and continues to live in New York where she is the proprietor of boutique shop “Chop Suey Club” that sells modern Chinese designers’ accessories and more. Mr. Jack is already in his final year at Bentley University, where he is learning about business and working on the side as a manager at a car sales company. Ms. Amanda is studying the art of Ceramic and Hot Glass making in a tranquil and peaceful Alberta University of Arts and Design, while Ms. Alyson is majoring in Marketing and Finance at Northeastern University. Each has chosen a different path to follow, but as foreign students living and studying abroad, they have endured similar challenges and overcome them. Some of these obstacles they have faced include getting adjusted to having complete independence over their schedules and life in general; enjoying the limited cuisine options around their universities (school cafeteria food is not for everyone); not having someone, a parent for example, telling them when to wake up or what to do; and more. Over time, they were all able to adapt and adjust to their new surroundings, living conditions, and overwhelming workload. They all unanimously mentioned that BCIS prepared them well regarding the latter, helping them succeed in university and their other endeavors after graduation so far.

　　The students also learned many poignant life lessons the hard way (i.e. experiencing these firsthand) after high school. Among these, this one was especially felt: sometimes, people you may think are friends can do the unimaginable. Ms. Ruoyi mentioned that a good friend of hers stole an incredible idea she had been working on for some time. This person, who she once considered a close friend, suddenly cut ties with her after pilfering her work for monetary gain without a shred of guilt. That is why Ms. Ruoyi cautioned others to be aware of who their true friends are.

　　On a more positive note, all the students shared how their relationships with their parents have grown stronger. Although none are parents themselves yet, the young adults have come to understand the perspectives of their parents more, as well as sympathize with them. Indeed, the love only a parent can provide for their child is truly special. In addition, distance makes a heart grow fonder, as well as brings families closer in a way. They also mentioned that with the advent of technology, it is also not a problem to keep in frequent contact with loved ones, no matter the differences in time and location.

　　Lastly, the alumni were asked this question: If there is one piece of advice you would like to share with our current BCIS students, what would it be? Mr. Jack emphasized that grades are not that important. Although he did not receive the best grades in high school (in fact, he admitted his grades were poor), he stated he has found success in both his higher education studies and work career by following his interests and excelling in these instead. Ms. Ruoyi also shared essential wisdom that fell on eager ears: “I want to share with you one very useful tip I wish I knew earlier: instead of thinking what kind of career you want to have, think what kind of lifestyle you want to have first. Then think about the type of careers that will allow this lifestyle to be your reality.”

　　We are thankful to our alumni for sharing their life stories with us. We are also looking forward to hearing more about their future endeavors and success.